I know how frustrating and heart breaking it is when you want to get pregnant, but month after month it’s just not happening and you don’t know why.
Fertility doctors may say there is nothing wrong with you (unexplained infertility) which only makes it more frustrating!
“If nothing is wrong with my partner or I then why can’t we get pregnant?”
I’m here to help you understand why.
The reason why the Western medical system can’t figure out why you aren’t getting pregnant is because they are only looking at your physical body, and your ability to conceive is also a factor of your mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, and sexual health.
unexplained infertility is explainable!
You just have to be looking in the right places.
Whether you already have an idea of why you are struggling to conceive or maybe you're still looking for an answer, I’ve put together a quiz to help shed some light on the potential issue.
Or keep on reading to learn more on why you might be struggling to get pregnant.
I believe that there are some important changes you could be making in your life to help increase your chances of becoming the mom that you want to be
Reason #1: You aren’t having intercourse at the right time.
(For same sex couples who are struggling to conceive, please move on to reason #2)
You may think you’re having intercourse at the right time because an app or ovulation predictor kit told you so… but what does your BODY have to say?
Your body gives you signs that you are in your fertile window. But you may have been taught to trust technology over your body. The problem with technology is that it is prone to error.
Fertility apps predict ovulation based on an algorithm, so if you are only inputting the first and last day of your period, it could be getting things wrong.
Ovulation predictor kits let you know when you have already ovulated, which is good, but to give yourself the greatest chance at fertilization you need to be having sex during your fertile window BEFORE you ovulate!
The BEST way to determine your fertile window is to track your basal body temperature (BBT) with a thermometer and track the evolution of your cervical mucus throughout your cycle. This is especially important if you are having irregular cycles, which may be the case if you have PCOS.
Reason #2: You are in a rush.
I know, it’s SO HARD to be patient. Especially if you feel like your biological clock is ticking! But when you are in a rush to get pregnant it signals to your nervous system that you are in danger; that your body is not a safe place to be, and this makes it even harder.
If you are just starting to try to conceive (TTC) I suggest that you set out a realistic timeline for yourself of how long it will take you to get pregnant naturally. Knowing these statistics can help:
You may begin to think that something is wrong with you if you don’t get pregnant right away or if you have a miscarriage, but don't jump to this conclusion too fast!
It’s a good idea to get testing done if you are not pregnant after 12 months of trying (or after 6 months if you are over the age of 35). But please don’t lose hope too quickly! Often, your body just needs a little more time, a little more kindness, and a little more trust.
If you currently doing or considering IUI or IVF
It’s especially important to notice if you feel like you are in a rush while doing fertility treatments. Sometimes a few failed IUIs or a failed IVF cycle is a sign from your body that something needs to change before you continue. I know you or your doctor are probably eager to “keep the momentum going”... but again, it is important that your body doesn’t feel forced or rushed (as this is a trigger for your nervous system- signaling that you are in danger!).
And finally, do you feel a general sense of urgency in your day to day? Do you feel like there is never enough time, that you are constantly rushing, and that it is hard for you to slow down? If so, then this can absolutely be preventing you from getting pregnant.
and find out which aspect of your wellness needs a tune-up for optimal fertility
Reason #3: You’re not being kind to yourself
Do you ever notice the words that you say to yourself? I like to call this your INNER VOICE.
We are so hard on ourselves so much of the time!
In a culture where “more is better” and where productivity reigns, it’s way too easy to get caught up in feeling like you or your life is not enough. Especially when you feel like your body is failing you.
But what if you could learn to soften your inner voice, speak kinder words to yourself, and adopt a mindset that YOU ARE ENOUGH?
You may be wondering: but what does this have to do with my fertility journey?
One of the principles of cognitive behavioral psychology is that our thoughts determine our emotional states, and our emotional states influence our physical health.
In other words: “thoughts become things”.
If you are not being kind to yourself, then your body will not be kind to you. It’s as simple as that.
On a journey where you may feel like so much is out of your control, the good news is that changing your inner voice is one thing you do have control over. It’s not hard, but it does require consistent attention and effort.
Still unsure as to why you’re not getting pregnant?
Reason #4: You're Having A Hard Time Trusting
Do you have trust issues? Maybe you don’t really trust your fertility doctor…Maybe you don’t trust a stranger who is trying to teach you something new 😉...Maybe you don’t trust your own body...Or maybe you don’t trust in a force that is greater than you (such as the Universe or God).
After years of work in this field, if there is one thing I know, it’s that trust is an integral part of the fertility journey. I’m not saying that you need to become religious, or even spiritual (although developing a spiritual practice can definitely help!). What I am saying is that you need to learn how to trust.
I know this can be hard, especially when you’ve experienced loss, or one disappointment after another. But how can you reframe your mindset, so that every negative result, every block you've experienced on your fertility journey becomes one more turn on your path, bringing you closer to your baby?
It’s possible to learn to trust. I promise.
Because without trust, what do you have?
Is lack of trust getting in the way of your fertility journey?
Reason #5: What happened to having FUN?
You probably spend most of your time working, going to various appointments with your team of wellness professionals, and you may even have a second full time job at the fertility clinic (because IUI and IVF sometimes feels like it’s a second job, right?). Maybe you’ve recently eliminated gluten, dairy, caffeine, and alcohol from your diet. And in your spare time, you read and research other lifestyle changes you can be making to help boost your fertility…
But what happened to having FUN?
The fertility journey can definitely take the "F" out of fun! I know it’s probably much harder to bring fun into your life right now, but I also know that it’s possible to get creative.
I believe that FUN is an integral part of the fertility journey. Because fun brings JOY, and when your body feels JOY it also feels SAFE, and when your body feels safe it signals to your nervous system that it is the right time and the right place for fertilization to occur.
🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸
If you’re thinking, Lauren, all of this information is great! But I'm not sure which one of these reasons may be contributing to why I am struggling to get pregnant… By taking the quiz I’ve put together, we can help narrow things down, and you can start making the necessary lifestyle changes to help you along your fertility journey.
And please remember, you are not alone in this journey. I would love to support you through my 3 month group container, Fertile from Within, where we will identify your deeply rooted fertility blocks, heal your womb, mind, and heart, and become the Mother you want to be.
I spent over half my life studying the sciences, specifically physiology and neuroscience. Then, while teaching science to high school students, I developed an interest in yoga. It was the only activity I found that was able to help my migraines and debilitating anxiety. I have devoted the last decade of my life to 1) becoming a mom and 2) immersing myself in the study of yoga and Eastern medicine. Today, I am passionate about bridging together Western and Eastern sciences to better understand the reasons why many women have difficulty becoming and staying pregnant.