This week I approached this topic in my postnatal yoga circle. It was slightly uncomfortable for me, and possibly for some moms, but we did anyways, and I'm so happy we did.
We talk so much about our physical and mental health in the postpartum period, but why do we shy away from talking about sexual health? Probably because of centuries of societal programming...
One mom said at the end of our talk today: "I'm happy we discussed this, because it makes me feel less alone". And this, my friends, is exactly the point.
When we come together in a safe space, and allow each other to be seen and heard, without judgement, we can see a part of ourselves in others, which makes us feel less alone.
If you've just had a baby and don't feel like being physically intimate with your partner, you are not alone.
If your baby is 6 or 12 months old, and you still don't feel like being physically intimate with your partner, do you are not alone.
If you feel guilty about any of this, you are not alone.
It might be helpful for you to remember that your desire and drive for physical intimacy will have its seasons. Just because you are in a low season right now does not mean that it will always be that way. After Winter, always comes Spring.
If you haven't already, it might also feel good to have this conversation with your partner. Communication is key. What needs do you have that are not being met? What needs to they have that are not being met?
You might also want to consider: if you don't want to be, or can't be physically intimate with your partner, how can you connect or be intimate in another way? What is your love language, and how can you show your partner love without being physical?
And finally, if you've been experiencing physical pain during intercourse since having a baby, know that it doesn't have to be this way. A pelvic floor physiotherapist or sexological bodyworker can help.
Lets help break the stigma around talking about sexual health!
ps. If you are looking to join one of my online postnatal yoga circles you can get more info over here.
It is only now, after watching the miracle of life unfold countless times, that I marvel at how every one of my life experiences have prepared me to be a doula. My university studies in the sciences gave me a foundation in anatomy and physiology, my professional experience as a high school teacher honed my skills as an educator, and my yoga teacher training helped me cultivate mindfulness and trust. There are also my numerous world travels which gave me an appreciation for human culture and connection, and my athletic endeavors like running and rock climbing which taught me strength and discipline. My journey to becoming a doula certainly hasn’t been a straight one, but now that I have arrived at my destination, I can’t imagine myself anywhere but here.
Doula Training and Experience
I completed both my Maternal Support Practitioner (doula) training and Fertility Specialist Certification with Bebo Mia, a school based in Toronto which trains doulas worldwide. It was a comprehensive birth and postpartum training which included a local breastfeeding workshop and a child and infant CPR course. I have also completed a Labor and Birth with Spinning Babies workshop and I use the Spinning Babies techniques in all the births I attend. In addition to my doula certifications I have a 200 hour yoga teacher training, prenatal and postnatal yoga trainings, and I love to bring my experience as a pre and postnatal yoga teacher into my work as a doula. I enjoy supporting diverse families in Montreal in both English and French.
My Birth Philosophy
I believe that birth happens best when the birthing person feels safe, secure, and supported. This is what I aim to bring to all the births I have the privilege of attending. A sense of security in birth comes from developing a connection with me in our prenatal meetings, and developing trust in your body. By discussing any fears you (and your partner) may have, and empowering you with evidence based information, you will feel more confident and secure with me by your side, allowing your body to birth exactly as you were meant to. As each expectant parent is unique, I enjoy forming authentic connections with every client, while providing personalized and grounded support for your body, mind, and spirit. During birth I see myself as your (and your partner’s) guide; supporting and encouraging you to turn inwards, and to connect with your body’s inherent wisdom. Oxytocin (the “love” hormone; also the molecule depicted in my logo below 👇) is key before, during, and after birth, so I like to create opportunities for you to feel love and joy throughout your pregnancy, birth, and during the blissful postpartum period!